


Crests and Troughs

by Topographical_Map_Of_Utah



Series: Along Came Baby [23]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aggressive Silent Treatment, Arguing, But The Kind That Actually Happens, Implied Mpreg, M/M, They Had A Baby!, Trans Poe Dameron, domestic AU, parenting is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 04:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9583379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah/pseuds/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah
Summary: Domestic life goes up and down and these two are just riding the wave, really.





	

"It's okay, Sammy. See? The storm's calming down already..."

Finn turned away from the window and smiled at the blubbering infant in his arms, eye twitching a little with exhaustion. He had been pacing the bedroom for what felt like the whole night. Add his steps together and they would probably amount to a half-marathon. Things were looking up, though. Then lightning flashed through the room and Finn jumped, Sam starting up another wail against his chest. Seems like two hours of sleep was too much to ask for.

For the twelfth time Finn glanced warily at the curled up lump under the covers that was feigning sleep. Poe would be a great help at the moment. They weren't on speaking terms right now, unfortunately.

The stony silence between him and Poe had persisted for a good five hours, ever since Finn had stepped into the apartment. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, then Finn had seen the bright green pamphlet Shara's teacher had given him sitting out on the kitchen table and swallowed. He probably should have tucked that away more discreetly, now that he thought about it.

More than once that evening Finn had opened his mouth to try for an apology, only to close it a moment later. It gave him the look of a fish left on the docks, as Shara had been kind enough to point out. 

His thoughts were interrupted when a terrific thunderclap boomed up above them. Finn swore he saw the windowpanes rattle with the force of it, felt the floor tremble under his bare feet. For a second he entertained a wild panic that the building would come crashing down on his head. As he pushed away that irrational part of his brain a pair of querulous cries rose up down the hall. Seems as though the storm hadn't startled just him.

Wordlessly, Poe rolled out of bed and trudged out the door, his shadow flickering eerily on the far wall. He hadn't acknowledged Finn at all, but that was to be expected. He came back a minute later with a kid in each arm, their tearful faces buried in the front of his shirt and voices choked around sobs.

"There was a flash and the sky growled-" 

"It was a dragon-"

"A bomb-"

"Godzilla-"

"Easy, guys. It was just lightning and thunder. So long as you're in here it can't hurt you, got it?" Poe soothed. That was the most Finn had heard from him in what felt to be a long while. Not wanting things to go back to the state they had been, Finn kept his mouth shut while Poe explained the science of all this to the kids.

 Through it all Poe made a point of ignoring Finn, focusing instead on counting out the seconds between flashes and crashes, describing electrostatic discharge and the formation of plasma. Shara and Aiden watched with rapt attention and Finn listened with one ear, Sam quiet in his arms. It was tempting to fall asleep to this, but leaving an apology to the next morning would do no good at all.    

By the time Poe got around to explaining rapid air expansion Shara had passed out in the middle of the bed and Aiden was clinging to Poe's back like a baby possum. Finn glanced between the two of them and sighed. Well, now seemed to be as good a time as any. 

"I'm sorry." Finn began, cheek pressed against the top of Sam's curly head. He had dozed off right after Finn burped him, which only meant Finn had no more excuses for putting this off any longer. "I messed up." 

"Ya think?" Obviously Poe wasn't quite ready to forgive and forget, yet. He raised his head from his pillow and glared at Finn, managing somehow to look irked and exhausted at the same time. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought..." That right there was the problem. Finn hadn't thought this through at all. "I dunno what I was thinking." he admitted, keeping his voice low. To avoid looking at Poe he adjusted the blankets around Shara, tracing lines between her freckles, connecting them like a treasure map. "Her teacher suggested an ADHD evaluation and I panicked, I guess. Didn't know how you'd feel."

"How I'd feel? There's nothing wrong with her. Whatever the evaluations come up with, there's nothing wrong with her." Poe said quietly, running his fingers through Shara's curls. "I don't know why you'd think I'd lose it over something like this. I don't care if she needs extra help. I do care that you didn't tell me, though. She's my kid too, remember?"

"I know. I'm sorry." 

As sincere as Finn was, Poe had heard too many empty apologies in his life just to take one at face value. Honestly, he was just about ready to jump on the attack again. Finn should have known that Poe wouldn't give a shit, should have trusted him enough to say something.

Then he remembered shoving a positive pregnancy test to the very bottom of his backpack where no one would ever find it, tiptoeing for three months because he was scared of losing either Finn or the baby. That first pregnancy had been the scariest thing Poe had ever gone through, and he had gone through a third of it alone, even though he really didn't have to.

Knowing that Finn would be happy if he knew hadn't stopped fear from curdling in the pit of Poe's stomach. Loving someone didn't stop some things from scaring you, and it didn't stop some conversations from being hard to have, either. You'd think they would have figured that out after all this time.

"It's just that I don't want second-hand intel about my own daughter." Poe said quietly. Finn relaxed the barest bit into the mattress and settled Sam down in the bassinet at his side, adjusting his neck and smoothing a hand over his curls. Poe's voice was gentler; not quite warm yet, but no longer sharp with accusation. "You get that, right?"

"Yeah. You're right. It won't happen again. It's just that I hate hurting you. That's no excuse, I know. And I know that keeping you in the dark won't help anyone." Poe's face softened, and Finn could see the begrudging forgiveness beginning to crinkle in the corners of his eyes. "Hard to break habit, I guess." he took a deep breath and glanced at Poe, twisting the sheets sheepishly between his fingers. "Are you okay accepting my apology, now?"

"'Course, sweetheart." Another thunderclap rumbled outside and Finn heard Aiden whimper softly in his sleep. "I'm not really mad, alright? It's just that whatever we do, we have to do it together. When it comes to the kids, at least." Poe added, detaching Aiden from his back and arranging him neatly between Shara and Finn. "No way in hell are you dragging me to the library at two in the morning. You can keep that hobby to yourself."

"How'd you know..."  

"You ain't slick, sweetheart. I could hear you dropping books all the way up the stairs. And you do know that you read aloud, right?" Poe cracked a knowing grin and slung an arm over Shara and Aiden as he burrowed into the blankets. "I've had so many unintentional history lessons, 'cause of you..."

"I think the saddest part of that is that you didn't think I was cheating on you. You just jumped straight to the library. How boring d'you think I am?" Finn complained, relief still shaky in his voice.

"Rather. Now kiss Sammy for me and go to sleep, bookworm. It's a school night." Poe yawned, giving Finn's hand a squeeze. It didn't take much for them to kiss and make up, really. Thank god for that. "Love you."

"I love you too." After pecking Sam's satiny cheek Finn closed his eyes and sighed into his pillow, falling asleep with Poe's hand still gripped securely in his.

 

\----------  

 

"You're _six_." Finn insisted, trying to keep the whininess out of his voice. It would be kind of embarrassing, stooping to a kid's level like that. He had to remind himself of that on a daily basis.

"Six and a half. I'm too big for you to hold my hand all the time." Shara insisted right back. She was squirming against Finn's hand, tugging and wriggling like a greased eel. "Daddy, my friends are gonna see and I'm gonna be embarrassed."

"Me too." Aiden insisted, imitating his sister's crossed arms and set jaw. Now that was just ridiculous, especially considering that Finn was carrying the kid. Even though it pulled at his heartstrings to do so, he set Aiden down and let go of Shara's hand. After a couple quick kisses the both of them darted off, giggling in delight. Boy, that stung.

"Bye, guys..." Finn trailed off and leaned on the stroller handlebars, watching Shara run into the schoolyard with Aiden trotting along at her heels. She was growing like a weed. An independent, headstrong weed. Aiden wasn't too far behind. Finn sighed a long-suffering sigh and went on his way, deciding on a shortcut through the park. Soon they'd be all grown up, and then what would Finn do?

 While he was moping about that there was a soft squeak from the stroller and he scooped up Sam, who was fussing in the quiet way he had. If he and Poe had thought Aiden had been an unassuming baby, neither of them had been prepared for Sam. The little guy seemed downright embarrassed to cry for attention. Something told Finn he would grow out of that, though. After all, Shara had. He adjusted Sam's hood and sighed again, feeling rather old as he eased down onto a park bench and dug a bottle out of his bag. 

"I don't want them to get bigger. But I doubt they're gonna stop growing any time soon. You're not allowed to grow up, though." Finn informed the squirming bundle in his arms. "You're gonna stay tiny and soft and basically useless forever, got it?" Sam just yawned and snuggled closer to Finn's chest, his chubby little fist curling around his bottle. Finn decided to take that as an agreement. "Good. I'll hold you to that." 

Even after Sam was fed and burped and dozing off, Finn just kept on rocking him, humming a lullaby while he watched the soft springtime clouds drift overhead. Finn would be the first to admit that he was clingy, but thankfully Sam was the type of baby who was only happy if one of his parents were doing the holding. Shara had been like that. Aiden really hadn't cared though, so long as he was being a burden to somebody.  

It was kind of concerning how ambivalent the kid had been, really. One time Poe had handed Aiden over to the hostess during what had been meant to be a romantic dinner with just the two of them. Then the babysitter hadn't shown up and it was just Finn, Poe, and a giggly little six month old. At least Shara was sleeping over with Rey and Jess that night. Still. Infants tend to ruin the mood.

The evening had been saved when the hostess happily toted Aiden around the restaurant for a good forty five minutes, charming the place with the incredibly well-behaved baby in a Stitch onesie. Finn was pretty sure Aiden hadn't even noticed that he was in unfamiliar hands. The kid would have been easy to kidnap. And Poe wondered why Finn was so always so anxious. 

Speaking of anxiety, Finn heard an engine revving and squeezed Sam like a teddybear as Poe screeched around the corner and skidded to a stop in front of the bench, the tires of his sleek black bike steaming. The number of times they had very nearly crashed on that thing was staggering. Finn trusted Poe's driving skills, sure, but dying of a heart attack wasn't an option when you have three kids to take care of.

"We're in a school zone, Speed Racer..." Finn sighed as Poe hopped off of the offending motorcycle and pressed a sweaty kiss to his cheek. Resigned, Finn ruffled Poe's helmet hair, knowing he would never convince him to put that bike out to pasture.

"I was goin' at the speed limit. I think. How'd Shara's appointment go?"

"Doc's doing a write-up. Should get to us in a day or two. We'll see where things go from here." The evaluation had all been arranged easily enough. Looking back on it, Finn wasn't sure why he had made such a mess of things. It was a memory he would rather not dwell on. Far too embarrassing.

"Good to know. See how easy it is to tell me things?" Poe teased gently. Finn rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but grin a little. When arguments reached a month old they were fair ground for poking fun. That seemed to be an unspoken rule between the two of them. No one had any clue when it had been established.

"Alright, you got me. How was work?"

"I wanna die." Poe said comfortably, plucking the baby out of Finn's arms and giving him an exaggerated kiss. "Hi, Sammy. How're the other gremlins doing, by the way? House seemed awful quiet when I stepped in yesterday."

"Not great. Aiden had a cold and Shara was moping about a softball game gone sour. Man, you had a bad day, too? Why am I the only one who had a good day yesterday? That's not fair." 

"C'mon, it's not all bad. I think this kid's been enjoying himself." Poe pressed a kiss to Sam's thick curls, making him giggle. "And Aiden phoned me to tell me he found a nickel. Seemed to be pretty pleased about that."

"Where'd he get a phone?"

"I'm pretty sure he snuck into the office when the secretary wasn't looking, nicked a wireless or something."

"He did what now."

"He put it back." Poe laughed. "I'm glad he called, honestly. Doubt I would've been able to get through the day without it. If we don't get this mess sorted out I dunno what the fuck's gonna happen. Everyone's kinda freaking out. Never had a sentient Cheeto at the helm. Bottom line is we dunno where they're gonna be sending the recruits next, what kinda orders they're gonna get or the stuff they'll have to do..."

Finn didn't ask for details, letting Poe vent about everything as he rocked Sam in his arms. The tone told him enough about the situation he and the rest of the staff were stuck in, not to mention the recruits. It was a scary thought. Joining up, hoping to do some good, then finding out that the people you're answering to are a bunch of assholes with their own agendas. God knows how Poe kept himself motivated, let alone his students.

"...We're all walking on eggshells, is what I'm trying to say. Man, can you imagine how awesome it would be if this were Star Wars? If I wanted to fix our problems I could just fly off, join the Rebellion, blow up the Death Star and all the space nazis inside it. That'd be awesome..." 

"You planning on leaving us behind? Some husband you turned out to be." Finn saw an opening to cheer the conversation a little bit and took it, laughing at the idea of Poe wearing one of those gaudy orange jumpsuits. It wouldn't be that bad of a look on him, actually. 

"Don't go thinking I'm not gonna drag you along with me. That theoretical Rebellion could use a guy like you. You know strategies and tactics as well as I know wings and propellors. You could man ground operations or something. Talk about your revolutionary power couple." Poe laughed and held Sam up over his head, delighting in his burbly little laugh. "Hey, these guys can be the poster kids." 

"You've got it all worked out, haven't you?" Shaking his head fondly enough, Finn wrapped an arm around Poe's shoulders and gave him a squeeze. "Tell me when to start packing our bags."

"Will do. In the meantime..." Poe pressed a kiss to Finn's ear, lips warm on his skin. Reckless and wild as he was, there would always be a familiar safety in his kisses. "Little rebellion."

"Little rebellion." Finn agreed, a laugh rumbling in his chest as Sam began to babble and grab at the collar of Poe's worn-out leather jacket, smiling with all six of his teeth. "I think we can do that." 

After all, without the little rebellions, what hope was there for the big ones?

**Author's Note:**

> idk im tired and haven't written these guys in awhile


End file.
